Love

I like this guy. It's simple. I'm a teenage girl who likes a guy. What's not to get? That's the problem. I'm a teenage girl. I believe the lies and I've made mistakes. I think I keep making mistakes to prevent my heart from breaking again. I've been in love once. He was my best friend and he still is but now I know that that is all we'll ever be. He loves me too but not the way we were hoping. When I ended that relationship, my heart shattered and it hurt. It really hurt. I hate the feeling of being in love so I run. I am a runner. There, I said it. 

I always tend to go for the bad guys too.. The ones that are capable of breaking my heart because I fall for their lies. I'm an idiot. The guy I like now is great. We flirt and everything but I think we both are thinking the same thing. What would happen to our friendship if this doesn't go well? Would we still be friends? All the guys I've dated have always turned out to be jerks. I know not all guys are jerks but sometimes, I believe they are. I'm still trying to figure out if I should tell him I like him or not. If I do, it might ruin everything. If I don't, I'll keep wondering "What if?". 

When I was younger, I always had that vision of what my future would be like. My friends could tell me exactly who I was going to marry just by knowing who I was. They told me I would end up with the nicest guy ever. He didn't have to be "hot" but he would be the most attractive guy in my eyes. I know it sounds cheesy but I don't go after a guy for looks. They do help though. I knew I would always live out in the country somewhere away from the big city limits. This guy, he's a lot like my dream. I'm just nervous. P.S. He has a beard. Bonus points! :)